.I'm depressed.

or maybe bitter. No a combo of both..honestly I have been depressed for the past two years…well almost two years….two years in January would make me extra depressed…my first actual real relationship really wasnt a relationship at all…yeah we so called commited..we had a day…but it was all built on lies..and bullshit…no one really knows how I hurt I was and still am…he may know I was hurt..but honestly its not that I want him…I just don’t want whats best for him. So therefore I never loved him…and I know a lot of you are probably like oh yeah right who can be depressed for two years….I have..That whole relationship was so unhealthy..lies on top of lies I felt like I lost a piece of me in that whole thing and not because he left..but because I had slowly started to lose my self-worth…being in “love” I like to call it being insane makes you do stupid things..no not real healthy genuine love..but that stupid ill call up the other woman cuss her out…check out his facebook stupid crazy “love”. Honestly I can say I have found interest in some dudes over the two years but honestly I don’t think I am ready to get down to the better deal of dealing with another…being bitter sucks..and it sucks so much out of you. I really can’t wait until I get to the point of just being by and by..I really thought I was but then he reappeared in my life…and it was just like two years ago..being in[sane]”love”. What’s up with him you ask? 21 and onto his second baby mother…other child just barely turned 2. yes he had a secret family and all….UGH.

I'm back :)

Hello Bloggers,
I'm back and I know no one missed me ;-)
Its been a while mainly cause well Ive been so busy
Tumblr was easy, just a bunch of reblogging
but here you have to actually WRITE
you have to feel what you write
or you can waste your time copying and pasting pic links and shit.
So much has happened since my birthday:
-I got a job
-I actually like my job
-I am planning to move so I can start school in San Francisco
And yet some things have remained the same:
-Struggling to attain peace of mind
-Depressed...
-Over a lot of people in my life.
I am in love with the movie 500 Days Of Summer
watch it almost everyday
I am on a mission to lose 50 pounds
and I am on a mission to save money
which I am having a very hard time doing :-/
needless to say I've been wanting to come
back to you blogger for a long time...but
I got so caught up, you know how you want to write but don't know what to write
that's how I feel most days. I come on here and read others blogs and leave.
But I'm back and lets just say I am ready
I am open.
Follow me on my peace of mind journey :)
-Poetic.Justice

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !!!

cakes on me!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! LOL

.Truth Be Told.

Tumbler is way better than this issh.
just saying


~Poetic Justice.

.Pretty Wings.

Inspired by whenever wherever whatever.

I can’t promise I won’t lie….or never ever cry……

I can’t promise I won’t say a hurtful word…one that would cut you like a sword

I can’t promise that we won’t argue sometimes into the night..I can’t promise that

I won’t ever be wrong….and you won’t ever be right.

I can’t promise that I won’t wish for you to return my calls.

Stare softly in my eyes and love me after all.

What I can promise is that I will love you with all my best…and I won’t do silly

things to put you through a “test”

I’ll make sure to kiss you when you’re mad….hug you when you’re sad…and give

you your space. I promise that I won’t push you away or slap you in your face.

This is all guaranteed if you would just have me =)

~Poetic Justice

11:11

I use to constantly wish at 11:11, for a lot of things…a job, a man, good health, but what I didn’t realize was that those things could never just miraculously land in my lap. I couldn’t get a job unless I had connections and filled out applications, I couldn’t find a man spending my freetime at the computer or watching classic love movies on the television, If I didn’t get regular check ups or wasn’t careful with sexual relations or eat healthly I couldn’t possibly be healthy. I think a lot of us fail to realize that things just aren’t handed to us…as much as we want them to be…okay maybe you’re rich and young, but someone is making that money for you and in a blink of an eye that money can be gone. NEVER take things for granted.

I might just start back wishing at 11:11 although without work it rarely comes true.

"Slow Motion"

I have a love/hate thing with slow motion.

And when I talk about slow motion I mean the steps before a relationship…

you know boy meets girl or vice versa and you’re trying to turn this into a relationship

but you still are feeling the other person out. I think it’s society that tells us that

even if we feel its right we must set out a time limit on when its the right time.

Sometimes you and this person feel the same way but are too scared to say

it….I don’t know..I’m just ranting cause I met a guy lol………..

slow motion it is.

Romance Is...

SITTING IN THE PARK, TALKING ABOUT ANY AND EVERYTHING AND NEVER GETTING BORED.

IT'S WHEN THE SIMPLE THINGS LIKE OPENING THE DOOR FOR YOU OR A SLIGHT KISS ON THE NECK

ITS HEARING YOUR FAVORITE LOVE SONG LOW IN THE BACKGROUND AS YOU LOOK INTO EACH OTHERS EYES

WATCHING THE SUNSET TOGETHER, AND NOT BY PURPOSE JUST BY CHANCE

NOT REALLY PLANNING THE DAY BUT GOING WITH THE FLOW.

THAT'S WHAT ROMANCE MEANS TO ME. =)

What More Can I Say: THE Greatest HANDS DOWN!

.REST IN PEACE.

Dear Sir,

I HATE YOU FOR RUINING MY LIFE.

THAT WILL BE ALL.

FORGIVENESS WILL COME WHEN I FEEL FOR IT TO COME

FOR NOW....

I JUST HAVE TO

LIVE, LEARN, GROW,

POETIC

Time & Place

I BELIEVE THERE IS A TIME & PLACE FOR EVERYTHING.

AND THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

BUT NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD I THINK THAT I WOULD

BE WHERE I AM TODAY, OR RATHER WHO I AM TODAY.

THE TENSION IS TOO HIGH. THINGS ARE GETTING HECTIC

AND ITS HARD TO SMILE. HARD TO LOOK AT A FUTURE THAT LOOKS

DIM. THINGS CAN BE WORSE. BUT THEY AREN'T BETTER.

HERE IS HOW I LOOK NOW...SHORT HAIR AND ALL

I'M GONNA GO FOR LOC'S WITHIN 6 MONTHS TO A YEAR

WE SHALL SEE.

LIVE, LEARN, GROW,
POETIC.

.I'm The Worse.

I have the worse sleeping habits.

No matter how hard I try I can’t sleep a full 8 hours at night.

I can in the afternoon though…

I try but I constantly find myself waking up at 4am and contemplating my life.

I can see it in their eyes, see how they look, they think I’m a failure…don’t you hate

that you think the most at night….A restless mind gets no sleep, and my mind is

never resting..always thinking about the what if’s and the what now’s…..Yet I keep

on a pasted and fake smile because truthfully I think everyone is tired of hearing

me complain. So I listen…and keep my thoughts to myself…finding myself talking

to my self at 4 in the morning…beating my self up. They say the grass is always

greener on the other side….I think so….Cause I look at everyone else and feel

they are doing so much better than I. Even people who are in the same “boat” as

I…do so much better than me. I look at it this way …..You’re either moving or

standing still. When you stand still life moves all around you…you’re just there..

no progression…just the same old same old, but if you’re moving even if its just

little steps..its better than nothing, cause even with small steps you’re going some

where. I have went from running, to walking, to a slow pace, to just a stand still.

Looking at everyone move. And I am standing still. Awake, Aware, Alert. &

Standing still…..All that stops right here.

.I'm Over It.

I THINK EVERYTIME I GET ON THIS BLOG I COMPLAIN

SO IT MAKES ME THINK

MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GIVE UP ON BLOGSPOT.

I MEAN THE PROCESS IS JUST WHAT IT IS A PROCESS

IT ISN'T FUN ANYMORE. AND NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I'M STILL

ON MY FEAR OF COMMITMENT SHIT...

BUT YEAH

MAJOR MOVES FOR THE END OF THIS WEEK.

THIS WILL DETERMINE EVERYTHING OF THE SUMMER.

ITS GETTING DONE!!

I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS OR THINKS

I AM GOING TO MAKE IT!!!

:)

Yay

MY PHONE HAS BEEN UPDATED
SO NOW I HAVE A VIDEO CAMERA..
GET READY FOR SILLY NESS
:D

The Question Is Are You Joyful?

HEY PEOPLE, HAVEN'T BEEN ON THIS IN A WHILE.
TRUTH BE TOLD HAVEN'T HAD ANY MOTIVATION, A LOT OF PEOPLE I KNOW ARE FEELING THIS WAY
MAYBE ITS THE WEATHER...I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST DON'T HAVE IT ANYMORE.
BUT ILL BE BACK.
WITH MORE. THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS THAT I NEED TO GET TOGETHER.
AND BY THE END OF JUNE YOU WILL SEE.

QUESTION THOUGH: ARE YOU JOYFUL?
NO, NOT HAPPY
BUT JOYFUL.
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.
:)

I'm Sick

PRAY FOR ME GUYS
I'M SICK.
UGH

I'm A Mess.

I DON'T KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME

I'M TRYING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT ALL THE THINGS IN MY LIFE, ALL THE PEOPLE

BUT WHEN I'M ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS I JUST...LOSE IT

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF

AND TRUTHFULLY I'M SLOWLY BREAKING DOWN

AND NO ONE WOULD KNOW

WELL NOT UNTIL NOW

.......

REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.....

.I have an announcement.

I AM BLESSED.
THAT IS ALL.
NOTHING MORE, OR LESS
JUST BLESSED.

.Eyes.

MEANT THIS TO BE SHORT LOL BUT IT BECAME MORE AS I LOOKED THROUGH PHOTOBUCKET.LOL

OLD





^I DON'T LIKE MY FACE IN THIS ONE LOL ^

Things I Hate. lol

BOREDOM STRUCK
SO I DECIDED TO MAKE A LIST OF FOODS AND THINGS I HATE.
1. PANCAKES....I KNOW PEOPLE THINK I'M WEIRD BUT UGH
2.DONUTS.-TOO SWEET AND EASILY MAKES ME SICK
3. ICE CREAM- TO A LIMIT..I CAN PROBABLY EAT A LITTLE BIT IF I'M REALLY IN THE MOOD
4. CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES....TOO CHOCOLATELY
5. OREO COOKIES-THE ORIGINAL ONCE AGAIN TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE.
6. SCONES...EVER SINCE WORKING AT STARBUCKS..UGH
7. GIRLS WHO KNOW THEY HAVE PIMPLES ON THEIR CHEST (NOT PIMPLE SCARS) WHITE HEADS AND THEY WEAR V-NECK SHIRTS.
8. TOO MANY PASTA DISHES.
9. HAIR ON SINKS AND IN TUBS.
10. DIRTY BATHROOMS.
11. PEOPLE WHO SPIT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU AND DON'T CARE..UGH
12. BELL-BOTTOM PANTS
13. GEL-TOOTHPASTE ONLY REGULAR PASTE FOR ME
14. HAIR ON SOAP....
15. IF MY SOAP FALLS ON THE FLOOR I HAVE TO THROW IT AWAY
16. SHAKEN ORANGE JUICE...ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT DRINK IT AFTER ITS BEEN SHAKEN
17. CINNAMON!! #1 THING I HATE..ANYTHING WITH CINNAMON I HATE CINNAMON!!!
18. JUICYFRUIT GUM..UGH
19. BIG RED GUM...CINNAMON >:-O
20. SWEAT.
21. GUYS AND DOLLS WHO WANT TO BE MUCH MORE GROWN THAN THEY ARE...i.e HIGH SCHOOL KIDS STUNTIN LIKE THEY CAN DRINK OR GO REGULAR TO CERTAIN CLUBS.. (DON'T RUSH TO GROW UP!!! TAKE LIFE AS IT COMES)
......
I RAN OUT OF THINGS LOL.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAKE HEADACHE MEDICINE WITH CAFFEINE IN IT.
YOU STAY UP ALL NIGHT. SMH

Truth Be Told.

I THINK SOME OF YOU DUDES
REALLY LIKE
SLIGHTLY CRAZY FEMALES
YOU KNOW
THE ONES WHO ARE NOT QUITE OVER THE EDGE.
FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD
E X T R E M E.

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW

-POETIC JUSTICE

P.S IVE BEEN WORKING ON A NOVEL THAT'S WHY IVE BEEN AWAY FROM THIS.
BUT ILL HAVE SOMETHING NEW TOMORROW.
:D

Yup

YAY I FINALLY COAXED MY MOTHER INTO BUYING ME SOME PHOTOSHOP
THANK GOD I TOOK THE CLASS IN HIGH SCHOOL AND HAVE THE SKILLS ALREADY.
GONNA SPRUCE UP THIS BLOG AND HAVE IT LOOKING SPIFFY IN NO TIME :D

ON ANOTHER NOTE...I'M JUST BREATHING AND LIVING NOTHING SPECIAL..
LEARNING DAY BY DAY.
BABY STEPS
CRAWLING
THEN WALKING
BUT IF ANY OF YOU READERS HAVE TWITTER FOLLOW ME AND ILL RETURN THE FAVOR
www.twitter.com/poeticjustice89
THANKS MUCH LOVES.
:D
*SHORT BUT STRAIGHT TO THE POINT*
CAN'T WAIT TO BUY A NEW DIGITAL CAMERA
DSLR TO BE EXACT :D

Dear Ego.

I WANT YOU TO DIE.

I WANT TO BE SATISFIED WITH MYSELF, NOW THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT TO BE

SATISFIED WITH WHERE I AM AT.

I JUST WANT TO BE SATISFIED WITHIN MYSELF.

I DON'T WANT TO WORRY ABOUT WHO IS IN MY LIFE FOR WHAT EVER REASON

I DON'T WANT TO BE THE FOLLOWER

NOR THE ARROGANT LEADER.

I DON'T WANT TO CARE ABOUT WHO WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND OR WHO WANTS TO LOVE ME

GOD GAVE ME ALL WHO I NEED AT THIS MOMENT AND TIME..THE REST WILL COME WHEN THEY ARE

ORDAINED TO COME.

I DON'T WANT TO GIVE IN TO MYSELF TO GIVE IN TO NEGATIVITY

I DON'T WANT TO BE USED. CAUSE MY EGO ALLOWS ME TO BE USED.

I DON'T WANT TO BE CYNICAL...BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE FOOLISH ANYMORE

THOSE NUMBERS ARE UP.

THE MIS-EDUCATION STOPS HERE.

SIGNED AND RELEASED
POETIC.JUSTICE.

*sigh*

I'M LOSING MY WAY
NOTHING IS APPEALING.
AND I'M LOSING CONTROL AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY.
I
DON'T
KNOW
WHAT
TO
DO
WITH
MYSELF.

One Last Cry.

WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE
WHERE IS THE GOOD IN GOOD BYE?
NO MATTER HOW BADLY THE ONE YOU LOVE TREATS YOU
IT STILL HURTS TO SAY GOOD BYE
AND JUST LET IT GO.
ITS BEEN EXTREMELY HARD FOR ME TO LET GO
CUT MY LOSES AND JUST START ANEW
ITS FUNNY CAUSE AS I AM WRITING THIS
IF I WERE A BOY IS PLAYING
A SONG THAT SEEMS SO PLAYED OUT BUT HAS NEW MEANING TO ME
......IF I WERE A BOY
I WOULD BE JUST LIKE YOU..
SLEEPING WITH EVERYONE, EVEN SLEEPING WITH YOUR FRIENDS TOO
NO REGARDS TO YOUR FEELINGS
JUST TRYNA KEEP MY GAME TIGHT...WHY SHOULD I GIVE A FUCK
WHETHER YOU CRY AT NIGHT? WERE NOT TOGETHER..AIIGHT.
PLAY WITH YOUR HEAD..TAKE A LITTLE OF YOUR BREAD..AND HAVE YOU ON YOUR
KNEES......I DO AS I PLEASE.
TOO BAD I'M NOT YOU.......HEART LESS.
AND THE BEAT GOES ON
~POETIC.JUSTICE.

You Shouldn't Throw Stones.

FOR THE MOST PART I ACTUALLY LIKE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

EVEN THOUGH MY ACTIONS WILL NOT SHOW THAT...LESS THAN A HOUR LATER I UNDERSTAND WHY

AND TAKE IT IN STRIDE...I APOLOGIZE AND TRY TO SEE HOW I CAN MAKE THIS PROBLEM INTO A SOLUTION.

WHAT I DON'T LIKE IS WHEN MY FRIENDS WHO ARE IN THE SAME PRACTICAL SITUATION TELL ME ABOUT

MYSELF. I WOULDN'T MIND IF THEY KNEW THEY WERE IN THE SAME BOAT AS ME SINKING..BUT NO

MY FRIENDS OR ACQUAINTANCES ACT LIKE THEIR BOAT IS PERFECT AND SINK-PROOF.

SO THEY FEEL THE NEED TO JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO, WHICH VERY WELL IS THE SAME THING

THEY SHOULD BE DOING. THE TOPIC IS LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE HAS MY LOVE LIFE FIGURED OUT AND WHATS RIGHT FOR ME.

WHEN THEY ARE PRACTICALLY HURTING THEMSELVES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS

CONSTANTLY STAYING IN DISGUSTING, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

IT REALLY MAKES ME SICK

BUT I DON'T SAY A WORD BECAUSE SAYING A WORD TO THEM WOULD MAKE ME JUST

LIKE THEM....ACTING LIKE MY BOAT IS SINK-PROOF

AND THEY ARE PRACTICALLY DROWNING.

OH WELL.
:)

"Currently" Questions

POETIC.JUSTICE IS:

excited about…my hair growing back
worried about… not having a job
reading… In the meantime by Iyanla Vanzant
creating… a inspirational novel, based on life experiences and the people around me
loving… my life and the people in it
hating… my anger towards a certain person
wondering… if I will get my digital camera by July and lose weight by July.
craving… a cheeseburger *Poetic resist!!!!*
listening to… Sunshine by Lupe Fiasco
watching… the computer screen and my phone.
netflix-ing… The hills.....lol

thanks to
apricot-tea
beautiful blog by a beautiful lady

Til Death Do Us Part?

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS BUT I WOULD LOVE TO BE MARRIED BY 25.

YOUNG MARRIAGES MAY NOT ALWAYS LAST BUT I LOVE THE THOUGHT OF GROWING OLD WITH SOMEONE.

I MUCH RATHER BE MARRIED THEN HAVE KIDS, BUT IF POSSIBLE AND BY A MIRACLE I WOULD ALSO LOVE

TO HAVE A BABY GIRL WHOM SHALL BE NAMED ADELE SELAH ____. I SAY 25 CAUSE I WOULD LOVE

TO HAVE MOST OF MY COLLEGE DEGREES DOWN TO START UP SOMETHING WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

I THINK MY FEAR OF COMMITMENT WILL MAKE THIS

EXTREMELY HARD.

ONE SIDE OF ME LOVES THE IDEA OF GROWING OLD WITH THE ONE FOR ME......

THE OTHER SIDE DREADS DEALING WITH SOMEONE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, WHICH MAKES ME

SHAKY ABOUT HAVING A KID (IF ITS POSSIBLE). ALTHOUGH I AM WORKING ON MY FEAR I GO INTO

REMISSION A LITTLE BUT THEN I REALIZE WHERE I WANT TO BE ...

A NICE CONDO BY MYSELF OR WITH MY HUSBAND( REAL NICE RING TO IT) IN DUMBO BROOKLYN

WORKING AT A MAJOR FASHION COMPANY....TATTOOED LOVE.

BESIDES...

MARRIAGE IS SOOO MUCH EASIER THAN RAISING A CHILD.

AFTER ALL WERE GONNA BE TWO WHOLE INDIVIDUALS GROWING INDEPENDENTLY AS WELL

AS GROWING TOGETHER.

P.S- I HOPE NOBODY RAINS ON MY PARADE...AFTER ALL ITS MY TRUTH, NOT NECESSARILY A FANTASY...
BUT A DETERMINED REALITY.

"FANTASY IS WHAT PEOPLE WANT, BUT REALITY IS WHAT THEY NEED"-LAURYN HILL
"AND [IVE] JUST RETIRED FROM THE FANTASY PART"-LAURYN HILL

."The Truth" about Truth.-Poetic.Justice

THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF TRUTHS, AS HARD AS THAT IS TO BELIEVE
THERE IS YOUR TRUTH, MY TRUTH, HIS TRUTH, HER TRUTH, GODS TRUTH, ALLAH'S TRUTH
HALF-TRUTH AND MAYBE TRUTH WITH FACT. HERE'S MY TRUTH STATED AS FACTS..
MY FACTS.
"MATTER OF FACT"

FACT #1: NIGGA'S AIN'T ABOUT SHIT!!! (GO TO MY EARLIER BLOGS)

FACT#2: BOY'S MAKE GIRLS CRY, MEN COMFORT WOMEN

FACT#3: UNTIL YOU LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES YOU WILL NEVER GROW

FACT#4: LOVE DOES NOT SHOW UP HOW YOU WANT IT BUT RATHER HOW YOU NEED IT.

FACT#5: THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO JUST HAS SOME TYPE OF HOLD ON YOU

FACT#6: SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T "GET IT TOGETHER" BECAUSE YOU'VE HAVEN'T FOUND ALL THE MISSING PIECES YET

FACT#7:THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON...EVEN IF WE DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY.

FACT#8: EVERYONE IS SUPERFICIAL IN THEIR OWN WAY.

FACT#9:THE ART OF SIMPLICITY IS TO HAVE PEACE WITH YOUR COMPLEXITY-INDIA.ARIE

FACT#10: LIFE IS TOO REAL FOR YOU TO EVER BE FAKE..SO JUST EMBRACE IT :D

.Bitchassness is NOT attractive.

THERE IS NOTHING THAT I CAN'T STAND MORE THAN A DUDE
THAT COMPLAINS SOOO MUCH..
BITCH ASS DUDES ALWAYS SETTLE FOR FRIENDSHIP WITH THE GIRL THEY LIKE
BECAUSE THEY RATHER HAVE THAT THEN NOT HAVE THE PERSON IN THEIR LIVES.
BUT GET UPSET OR JEALOUS WHEN THE GIRL WHO DOES NOT LIKE THEM LIKES OTHER DUDES
ESPECIALLY IF THE GIRL IS COMPLAINING TO HER BITCH ASS FRIEND
ABOUT THE DUDE...THEY GET JEALOUS BECAUSE THEY FEEL THEY CAN TREAT HER "BETTER" THAN THE
DUDE SHE CURRENTLY LIKES OR LOVES...WHAT A BITCH ASS DUDE FAILS TO REALIZE THAT
JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN TREAT HER BETTER THAN THAT DUDE DOES NOT MEAN SHE WANTS YOU!!
9 TIMES OUT OF 10 SHE PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN THINK YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE
AND ARE JUST YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE SHE FEELS SORRY.
SOMETIMES FEMALES MAKE THE MISTAKE OF BECOMING FRIENDS WITH A BITCH ASS EX
WHO COMPLAINS AND WHINES ABOUT "WHY YOU'RE NOT WITH THEM .
AND THAT THEY HAVE CHANGED AND YOU ARE NOT GIVING THEM A CHANCE"
UMM BECAUSE YOU HAD A MOTHERFUCKING CHANCE AND YOU FUCKED IT UP (OR YOU BOTH
MUTUALLY MESSED IT UP) EITHER WAY.. THEY DO NOT WANT YOU.
SO BITCH ASS DUDES/ BITCH ASS EXES
DO NOT
I REPEAT DO NOT
FAKE A FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING MORE
THAN THAT FROM YOU...BECAUSE IN THE END YOU WILL BE DOING WHAT YOU DO BEST
BITCHING
AND FRANKLY...THAT JUST MAKES US NOT LIKE YOU MORE.
UGH.
DUDES.

LOVE. my NEPHEWS.

EVEN IF THEY MAKE ME AGITATED SOMETIMES.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE THEM :D
DUH.LOL

You just won my heart over. SIIIGH.-Poetic Justice

SO MY DIGITAL CAMERA IS BROKEN.
AND MY G1 CAMERA SUCKS
SO SUCKY PICS UNTIL MAY OR JUNE.
MY PARENT'S CAMERA IS ALWAYS DEAD.
BUT ON ANOTHER NOTE.
I'M STARTING TO GET OBSESSED WITH TATTOOS
I'M GETTING ANOTHER NEXT FRIDAY (HOPEFULLY)
AND I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I'M GETTING AFTER THAT.
CRAZY HUH
LIFE IS KINDA CRAZY BUT I'M TRYING TO GET ORGANIZED
CAN'T REALLY COMPLAIN EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING FOR A REASON.
STILL HAVEN'T FOUND A WAY TO LET GO OF A CERTAIN PERSON IN MY LIFE
BUT. I GUESS THIS IS JUST GOD AND LIFE TEACHING ME A LESSON
WE SHALL SEE.
:D

.Life.

SO I GOT MY SECOND TATTOO TODAY.

NOTHING SPECIAL.
SOUTH AMERICA
ITS NOT FINISHED :D
-POETIC.JUSTICE

.Venting.

DON'T YOU HATE...WHEN YOU GET YOURSELF TOGETHER..WHETHER IT BE IN THE MORNING FOR WORK
OR SCHOOL OR FOR A PARTY OR WHATEVER...AND YOU LEAVE WITH SO MUCH CONFIDENCE
AND THEN YOU RUN INTO A GROUP OF BOYS AND EVEN GIRLS..AND YOUR CONFIDENCE JUST
LEAVES YOUR ENTIRE BEING? THAT'S HOW I FEEL.
SOMETIMES I CAN BUILD UP ENOUGH CONFIDENCE TO WALK OUT WITH MY HEAD HELD HIGH
BUT AS SOON AS I REACH OUTSIDE AND DIFFERENT OPINIONS FLY I FEEL SO SLIGHTED.
LIKE...MAYBE IF MY SKIN WAS LIGHTER.
OR MY TEETH WERE STRAIGHTER
OR IF I WASN'T SO THICK
OR I DON'T KNOW IF I WERE MORE BEAUTIFUL.
THE CONFIDENCE WOULD BE THERE.
MY EYES WOULDN'T BE SO FIXED ON THE SIDEWALK
AND I WOULD JUST BE ABLE TO SMILE AND KNOW
EVERYTHING WAS A- O K.
:(

[old]ADVICE part 2

THE BIBLE..THE KURAN (QURAN?) AND MOST OTHER

SPIRITUAL..AND RELIGOUS BOOKS TEACH US THAT

WE MUST LOVE LIKE A CHILD....THAT WE MUST HAVE

A CHILD~LIKE MINDSTATE WHEN WE GET INTO A LOVING

RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER. I AM HONESTLY TIRED

OF HEARING MY AQUAINTANCES..( I ONLY CALLED A

CERTAIN FEW FRIENDS)COMPLAIN ABOUT WANTING A MAN

BUT YET THEY HAVE FEAR IN THEIR HEARTS AND ALL

THESE EXPECTATIONS..BUT WORSE YET..IS THAT THEY

SETTLE...I HATE TO SEE PEOPLE SETTLE BECAUSE

THEY DONT WANT TO BE ALONE..THAT WHOLE..."IMMA

STICK WITH HIM OR HER CAUSE I DONT WANT TO BE

ALONE SHIT" UGGGHH MAKES ME SICK...MAYBE IM JUST

VENTING CAUSE IM EXHAUSTED..IM TIRED OF HEARING

FRIENDS WHO WANT RELATIONSHIPS SETTLE FOR A

SEX BUDDY WHEN THEY KNOW THEY WANT MORE..AND ARE

ONLY DOING THAT BECAUSE THEY HAVE THIS HOPEFUL

THINKING THAT IT WILL GROW INTO SOMETHING MORE..

LADIES IF A GUY WANTS YOU NOTHING CAN STOP HIM

FROM WANTING YOU...BUT FEAR IN HIS OWN HEART

NOW FEAR MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP IN MY MOUTH

AND THEN IT EAT..WHICH I MEAN ITS DISGUSTING..

ALL THIS "I FEAR HE OR SHE IS GONNA HURT ME"

"I FEAR IF I MOVE ON FROM THIS DUDE OR GIRL

THE NEXT WOMAN OR MAN IN THAT DUDE OR GIRLS

LIFE WILL REAP THE BENEFITS" B U L L S H I T

ALL THIS FEAR TALK MAKES ME MAD..IT STOPS PEOPLE

FROM GOING AFTER WHAT THEY WANT...EH. IF U WANT

SOMETHING OR SOMEONE.GO AFTER THEM!!! DONT WAIT

TO SEE IF SOMETHING BETTER IS GONNA COME ALONG

CAUSE IF YOU WANT THAT PERSON AND SOMEONE IS

OUT THERE THAT IS BETTER FOR YOU THEN THEY

WILL COME TO YOU WHEN THE TIME COMES.."BUT IF

I LEAVE HER FOR THE RIGHT ONE..IMMA HURT HER.."

ARE YOU FEELING HER? DO YOU WANT HER? "YES"

SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR? "I DONT

WANT TO DEAL WITH HIM CAUSE IM AFRAID HE IS

GONNA PLAY ME LIKE ALL THE OTHER DUDES IN MY

PAST" WHAT?! YOU JUST SAID THE KEY WORD P A S T

THATS RIGHT THEY ARE IN YOUR PAST..THERE FOR A

REASON..GET THE FUCK OVER IT..AND LET LOVE TAKE

AWAY THE FEAR..ALOT OF MY AQUAINTANCES SAY..

OH JOEY YOUR SO BRAVE, LOOK HOW MANY TIMES

YOU'VE BEEN HURT AND YOU STILL ARE THERE LOOKING

I DONT KNOW IF I COULD HAVE DONE IT IF I WERE

YOU. ILL ASK THEM WHY...ITS FEAR...WOW..NOW

DONT GET ME WRONG ITS NOT THAT I DONT HAVE FEAR

BUT ITS JUST THAT I EMBRACE MY FEAR AND REPLACE

IT WITH LOVING THOUGHTS..AND SO WHAT!! ITS A

LEARNING EXPERIENCE..IT WAS MEANT TO HAPPEN

I TAKE LIFE AS IT COMES..IF YOU HURT ME ITS FOR

MY OWN GOOD. BASICALLY..I EMBRACE THE MYSTERY..

BEING HURT DOESNT STOP ME..BECAUSE I AM WHO I

AM AND AT THE END OF THE DAY OR RELATIONSHIP

IM EITHER GONNA TAKE THE LESSON AND LEARN OR

KEEP MAKING THE SAME MISTAKE OVER AND OVER..

I TRY MY BEST TO LEARN FROM THE LESSON..SOME

TIMES I GET THROWN OFF COURSE AND MAKE THE

SAME MISTAKE BUT NEVER A THIRD TIME..IM JUST

FUCKING TIRED OF THE FEAR!! ARGHH...FAKE ASS

PLAYERS..FUCKING LOSERS!! FUCKING DICK HEADS!

IM JUST FUCKING FRUSTRATED!! IM FUCKING FUCKING

FRUSTRATED...IM TIRED OF THESE "BLIND" GIRLS

AND THESE..DUMBASS "BLIND" BOYS...DO YOURSELVES

A FAVOR AND SPEAK THE TRUTH!!! ALSO..IN ORDER

FOR YOU TO EVER LEARN A MISTAKE..U MUST ACCEPT

WHATS BEING SHOWN TO YOU AND STOP LIVING IN

DENIAL!!! FANTASY IS WHAT YOU WANT.BUT REALITY

IS WHAT YOU NEED...DENIAL IS A DISEASE!! SEE

THINGS FOR WHAT THEY ARE!! YOUR BEAUTIFUL, YOUR

SMART..TOO SMART TO LET SOME BOY OR GIRL MAKE

YOU A BIGGER FOOL THEN YOUR SUPPOSE TO BE!!!

DUDES MAN UP!! GIRLS OPEN YOUR EYES!! AND LET

LOVE FUCKING IN..SOMETIMES LOVE IS RIGHT IN

FRONT OF YOUR DUMB ASS MAYBE IF YOU OPEN YOUR

MINDS EYE YOU WOULDN'T BE SOO LOST!!! U HAVE

THE MAP TO LOVE..I THINK YOU JUST MISPLACED IT

ITS PROBABLY BEHIND THE DENIAL..AND THE LIES..

YOU TELL YOURSELF TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD

ABOUT WHAT YOUR DOING..DEEP DOWN YOUR HURTING

I KNOW..IVE BEEN THERE...LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH

TO LET GO!!!!!

FUCK YALL...LOL..JK

PEACE!

[old]ADVICE.

YOU WILL NOTICE THAT MY TITLES HAVE NOTHING TO

DO WITH WHAT I WRITE..BUT HEY..MAYBE THEY HAVE

A UNDERLYING MEANING. BUT YES BACK TO THE TOPIC

THE TOPIC IS ACKNOWLEDGEMENT..ACKNOWLEDGE

I'LL ASK THIS...WHY IS IT THAT WHEN WE ARE

FORCED TO FACE CERTAIN REALITIES IN OUR LIVES,

WE SEEM TO HAVE A REALLY HARD TIME CALLING

THINGS WHAT THEY ARE, WHICH IS WHY WE STAY IN

CURRENT RELATIONSHIPS OR PAST RELATIONSHIPS

(WHEN I REFER TO PAST RELATIONSHIPS I MEAN ONES

THAT YOU CANT GET YOUR MENTAL OUT OF..EVEN WHEN

PHYSICALLY YOU ARE OUT OF IT)AND ALSO WHY WE

STAY IN BAD SITUATIONS. I WAS RECENTLY READING

A BOOK WHICH USED A STORY IN THE BIBLE, "THE

BIBLE OFFERS US A STORY ABOUT A MAN WHO SAT AT

THE GATE OF THE CITY BEGGING FOR COINS. WHEN

TWO OF JESUS' DISCIPLES PASSED HIM WITHOUT

DROPPING ANYTHING INTO HIS CUP HE ASKED "WHY"

THE BEGGER EXPLAINED HIS SITUATION. HE PLEADED

WITH THE DISCIPLES FOR HELP. THEY REFUSED! THE

DISCIPLES REFUSED TO BELIEVE HIS STORY BECAUSE

THEY KNEW THE TRUTH."

IF YOU CALL YOURSELF SOMETHING FOR A LONG TIME

OR IF YOU SEE THINGS THE WAY YOU WANT THEM AND

NOT THE WAY THEY ARE YOU WILL BELIEVE IT. IN

THE BOOK IT SAID THAT THE DISCIPLES KNEW THAT

HE WAS IN DENIAL, SO THEY REFUSED TO HELP HIM

DENY HIMSELF MORE. WOULDNT IT BE LOVELY IF YOU

COULD STOP BUYING INTO YOUR BULLSHIT STORIES

AND FACE THE TRUTH? WE THINK THAT WE CAN START

A NEW RELATIONSHIP WHEN WE ARE STILL ANGRY ABOUT

THE OLD RELATIONSHIP. WE THINK WE CAN FIND A NEW

BETTER-PAYING JOB WHEN WE ARE STILL UPSET ABOUT

HOW WE ARE TREATED ON THE OLD JOB. YOU CANNOT

MOVE FORWARD INTO SOMETHING BIGGER, BETTER, AND

BRIGHTER THAN WHAT YOU HAD UNTIL YOU CLEAR YOUR

FEELING ABOUT WHAT THE OLD THING WAS, WHAT YOU

LEARNED AND WHAT YOUR ARE TAKING WITH YOU. WITH

OUT CLOSURE, THE BAD STUFF YOU HAD BEFORE IS

GOING TO FOLLOW YOU. ON THE OTHER HAND YOU

CANNOT FIND THE GOODNESS OF CLOSURE UNTIL YOU

FIND THE GOODNESS IN LETTING GO. EXITING A

RELATIONSHIP WHETHER IT BE CURRENT OR PAST IS

A PHYSICAL, MENTAL, AND AN EMOTIONAL TASK. HERES

HOW I WOULD DO IT...NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD DO IT

BUT I WOULD MENTALLY GET MYSELF OUT FIRST,

PHYSICALLY LEAVE, AND THEN WITH CLOSE OFF THE

EMOTIONS.

UNTIL TODAY, YOU MAY HAVE REMAINED IN A

RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU EXITED A LONG TIME AGO.

JUST FOR TODAY, BE PRESENT ENOUGH TO ASK FOR

WHAT YOU WANT, AND REMAIN PRESENT LONG ENOUGH

TO RECEIVE IT

**BTW**

I WROTE THIS WHILE LISTENING TO MUSIC AND

TALKING TO PEOPLE SO IT MAY NOT MAKE SENSE..LOL

I WISH I HAD MORE CONCENTRATION.

Seems To Be To Me

SO.......THIS DUDE AND I
WHO WERE FWB's BEFORE ARE NOW ACTUALLY FRIENDS.
AFTER A BIG BLOW OUT AND AN ARGUMENT.
ALL WE DO IS TALK.
WELL NOT REALLY WE MOSTLY TALK ABOUT THE G1
WHICH IS FINE WITH ME CAUSE FRANKLY I REALLY AM NOT UP TO THAT LEVEL WITH HIM
WHERE I CAN TELL HIM WHO I LIKE..AND NEITHER IS HE.
AND I THOUGHT...HEY I LIKED THIS...BUT LISTENING TO JOHN LEGEND'S
EVERYBODY KNOWS...I REALIZED...I'M JUST TRYING TO FIND THE WAY TO SAY PLEASE STAY :(
OH WELL
CAUSE "IF A GUY LIKES YOU NOTHING CAN MAKE HIM STAY AWAY"
TRUE THAT.
:)

Paradise Village-by Poetic.Justice.

PARADISE VILLAGE

The air was hot and full of dust. It seemed as if the whole village was on a mission to see the girl who had come from

the magical America. I stared blankly at the shiny black face that belonged to my aunt. “Well, well, well look who

get she’self into trouble to come and grace she face to us.” I looked past her and saw the friendly face of my slightly

younger cousin Derek. “You me cousin from New York”? “Yeah, you got a problem”? The smile slowly left his face the

moment I responded. “Naw me ain’t got no problem Natasha, me just askin’, anyway I welcome you to the village.”

Derek is my Auntie's child ; and no, not the one that took me in but another one that left him to big Aunty. He was

very short in stature but had red skin that made him look almost Indian. My aunt was called Big Aunty, and Big

Aunty was just that; big in size and in age. She is my mother’s oldest sister. Then there’s Uncle Ben, big Aunty’s

husband he is very nice at least he is to me. He picks up my bags for me and we head into the house. This house such

as it was called was a bright green almost like the color of a fresh lime just picked off the tree in the season of

summer. Big Aunty showed me to my room and I was left all alone . The situation finally dawned on me and I

realized that I was all alone. No Mommy or Daddy or Jonna or Yonna . I hated my mother for sending me to this

horribly hot country called Guyana. It was truly not my fault that I was picked on. Was it my fault that I was born

darker skinned then most of my school mates? Did it even matter that I was this color? No of course not what matter

was that the kids in my class would have some entertainment, other then the frightened teachers. My mother told

me time and time again to have self control, to not let the words get to me. But self control can only go so far before

you explode. So as the teasing kept coming, I kept fighting and now I have to face the consequences of my actions: a

year in the hottest country ever. Suddenly a knock came at the door dragging me away from my thoughts and

placed my eyes at the door. It was Big Aunty. “Well me get some visitors at the door and they wan see hot big you get

so come and say hello to these people alright”? What choice did I have I was gonna have to act nice if I wanted to get

out of this hell hole. “Alright just give me a minute”. She left the room and I finished what I was doing and went

downstairs. There was a man and a woman at the door. The man was very tall and broad with a scar across his face,

while the woman was a bit shorter and heavy set. They claimed to be cousins, and talked about how big I had grown.

Though I’m sure I have never seen these people in my lifetime. “Eh, eh now is this Jeneva pickney , grow so big, she

look so good, how old is she now”?

They asked my aunt as if I wasn’t even there to answer for myself. “Im sixteen years old” I replied with a little

attitude. “Oh she a feisty one is she now”? Asked the heavy set woman while looking me up and down. “Yes that is

why she in this situation right now. She cause pure war at school with some kids, and now she mommy fed up with

her. Jeneva send she away to learn her one good lesson. You know what I say when pickney don’t wan’ learn they

skin gon’ get burned, and so say so done she end up feeling it right here in Guyana.”

I gave Big Aunty the meanest stare I could conjure up and all she did was smile. “Gwan go outside with you cousin im

sure he wan’ know about you life in New York.” I walked down the steps with such rage that I didn’t even notice the

black face in the bush in the next yard. “Hey you gal!” a deep voice comes from a bush and I jumped back a little

seeing a face staring right at me. “Who, me?” I replied, suddenly my cousin jumps up from the hammock and tells

the face to leave me alone. “I don’t wan hurt her I jus’ wan know where she come from.” My cousin looked at the face

which formed into a man and said “well you don’t need to know she business, what you need to know that far”? My

cousin took my hand and told me to follow him. “Why were you so mean to that man in the bush?” I asked. “That

man is a rapist, and a thief. He raped his own mother, and he was just trying to rape you too!”. I was shocked but I

couldn’t let my younger cousin pull one over on me so I said. “Yeah right he couldn’t even touch me, I’d knock the

shit out of him.” sounding all tough when really I was just scared. “Believe what you want but what I am telling you

is the truth.” He walked back to the hammock and lied down. “You wanna lie down too?” he asked. He moved down

and made room for me to sit. “How old are you?” I asked. He replied with fifteen. Suddenly he got up and walked in

the direction of the bridge. Feeling kinda scared I screamed “Wait !, where are you going, I wanna come too !” He

looked back and said “Fine come along with me!”. So many questions were going through my head but I kept them to

myself because the silence was kinda nice. We walked slowly down the road. Many people were outside of there

makeshift homes, some were cleaning up while others were lounging around. We turned into a house with about

fifteen little kids running in and out. An old woman with a hunched back came out of the house. “Ayo stop dis

running about before I lash ayo in y’all tale.” She looks up and notices the two of us. “Hello who’s there, anyone there,

anyone call my name”? “Its me miz Ansel , Derek. I come for see if Kemmil is at home.” She smiles and says “Oh hi

Derek how you do, you de good how Big Aunty?” I wanted to ask who is this lady but I didn’t want to interrupt their

conversation. “I’m fine, Big Aunty fine too.” A big smile was on Derek’s face which made me notice the cutest

dimples on his red face. As they went on with there small chit chat, I took a look around the village. The coconut trees

were swaying in the wind and hypnotized me for a minute. I visualized the sweetest mango, which I have yet to get

dripping down my chin as I eat the delicious fruit inside. My cousins voice brings me back, he was calling my name.

“Natasha, Natasha ?” I looked at him. “This is Miz Ansel, Miz Ansel this is my cousin from New York named

Natasha”. I smiled and she smiled back. “Nice to meet you child, how you do, you good?” “I’m fine”I answered, she

turned back to Derek. “Kimmel is inside hold on let me get him”. She went into the little house and left me here with

Derek. “Who’s Kimmel”? I asked. “My best friend, I know him from school”. Suddenly a brown skinned boy with

very long limbs come out. As he gets closer I can see that he is very attractive.

“Hey, what’s up man” said Kimmel. As he came more close I saw that his eyes were blue.

“Nothing much just showing my cousin the village.” said Derek. All eyes were on me and I flushed with

embarrassment. “What’s your name?” He asked. I said “Natasha.” Derek looks at me weird and I stare back. “ I know

you already know my name, so I'm not going to tell you it.” The hairs on the back of my neck were raised and I could

not see, which was partly the sun’s fault. “Hey man stop looking at my cousin like that, before I pop you in your

head.” My cousin was starting to be a real pain if you know what I mean. And he was trying to sound like an

American thug.

“Don’t worry Derek I can take care of myself. I don’t need your help.” Kimmel laughed and that made me smile

because his laugh was so cute. “Well I'm just trying to help you out, but watch you gonna be asking me for help when

he breaks your heart.” “Listen I'm gonna see you later Kimmel because Derek is tripping.” I turned to walk away but

Derek grabs my hand and says “Don’t go wait for me, I bet you can’t even find your way home.” He was right but I

was still pissed of so I ignored him. “Are you coming to the club tomorrow?” Derek asked Kimmel. “Yeah I'm coming as

long as your cousin coming too.” I looked at Derek to see if he was gonna answer for me but he just turned to look at

me. “Do you want to go?” I looked at Kimmel and then at Derek. “Yeah I would love to go, you know when I was in

New York I was a real party gal.” Which was a total lie since I wasn’t really allowed out of the house. “Cool then I will

see ya’ll later.” Kimmel did one final smile and walked away. Derek and I started up the road to the little green house

that I will now call my home for a year. But at least things were looking up, I met a cutie and as annoying as he is,

my cousin is mad cool. “You know your annoying right?” I told my cousin, he just smiled.......

I wrote this story a LOONNG time ago.
forgive the mistakes too lazy to fix them.
:)
copy-written.
lol.

.I am Losing Control.

I am losing control.
of my sight.
of my mind
of my heart.
it never was like this from the start.
I am losing control
and its taking over my soul
losing control is making me whole.
I am losing control.
and letting old things go.
chopping down the bushes, and letting the flowers grow.
I am losing control.
of my friends
of my family
of my life
............I am losing control of my strife.
I lost control of day and night.
I lost control of my ego always putting up a fight.
and when I lost control..I became whole.
and now I LOVE YOU so.
.ME.

Black Art.

GOT THIS FROM A AFRICAN AMERICAN WEBSITE
OF ARTWORK FROM SEVERAL AFRICAN AMERICAN NOVELS AND STORIES.
AT
www.africanafrican.com
:)

Inspiration.For The Nation?-Poetic.Justice

I'M FINDING MYSELF BEING A BLANK SLATE.
I DON'T SEEM HAVE THE ENERGY AND POSITIVE THOUGHTS TO WRITE.
I WAKE UP WITH SO MUCH THOUGHTS IN MY MIND. AND WHEN ITS TIME TO
WRITE THEM DOWN...ITS LIKE MY BRAIN ERASES THEM BEFORE MY HANDS CAN TYPE THEM.
NOTHING NEW IN MY LIFE....SAME OLD SAME OLD.
HOPELESSLY LOOKING FOR A JOB
TRYING TO GET OVER A BOY
LOOKING FOR A WAY OUT......BUT STILL MY MIND STAYS IN.
SO YES. THIS IS MY PLEA.
INSPIRATION. IS WHAT I NEED RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
YES.

Ira Fail.

AS I WAS SEARCHING THROUGH THE INTERNET FOR SOME INSPIRATION
I FOUND THIS SKETCH DONE BY IRA FAIL.
WHO BY THE WAY HAS A WEBSITE CALLED
http://www.fireinthedark.com

PLEASE SUPPORT GREAT ARTIST'S THEY DESERVE IT.
:D

It's Weird

*BEFORE I START I WANT TO THANK PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY TAKE THE TIME AND READ MY BLOG
ITS ACTUALLY MORE PEOPLE THEN I THINK, WHICH IS GREAT :D THANK YOU!!!*

NOW, I THINK ITS WEIRD WHEN GUYS SAY I'M ATTRACTIVE.
I KNOW YOUR SUPPOSE HAVE THAT HIGH SELF ESTEEM, BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL
UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN A GUY SAYS "YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL"
MAYBE ITS FROM ALL THOSE YEARS OF BEING TOLD THAT I AM UGLY..YUP IT HAD A NEGATIVE EFFECT.
I MEAN NOW I DON'T THINK I'M UGLY I JUST FEEL WEIRD WHEN A GUY SAYS BEAUTIFUL.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHH
ON ANOTHER NOTE, DEBATING WHETHER OR NOT I SHOULD GET MY MONEY BACK FROM A EX-FRIEND OF MINES
"IT'S A RECESSION..EVERYBODY'S BROKE"- YOUNG JEEZY.
YEEAAAAHH...I THINK I'M TOO NICE LOL.
HERE'S SOME EYE CANDY..OR MAYBE TRASH TO OTHERS..OH WELL. YOUR LOOKING AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.




KINDA.MANNISH LOL...OH WELL. ;)

I'm Addicted To Your Chocolate High-India.Arie & Musiq Soulchild

I THINK A LOT OF US FEMALES GET CAUGHT UP IN THE PAST
THAT WE DON'T SEE THE FUTURE AHEAD.
I KNOW THEY SAY IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER YOUR PAST YOU'RE DOOMED TO REPEAT IT,
BUT IF YOU STAY IN THE PAST..THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GONNA REALLY KNOW.
THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO THAT CAN CHANGE THE PAST.
WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT HE DID, WHAT SHE DID, WHAT WE DID, WHAT WE DIDN'T
WHO HURT WHO. ALL OF THAT DOES NOT MATTER, WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU MADE IT OUT.
NOW SMILE AND BE THE BETTER PERSON.
REMEMBER YESTERDAY IS IN THE PAST.

SHORT POST BUT TO THE POINT.
LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.
I CHOOSE TO MAKE IT GREAT.

Re-Verse The Written. I had him Smitten.-Poetic Justice

THIS IS GONNA BE A COMPLAINT BLOG
CAUSE I AM DAMN SURE TIRED!!
DON'T YOU JUST HATE WHEN PEOPLE...SPECIFICALLY BOYS SHOW YOU YOUR FAULTS.
BUT AT THE SAME TIME THEY ARE NOT SQUEAKY CLEAN? OR WHEN THEY BLAME YOU FOR THE DEMISE
OF YOU GUYS RELATIONSHIP OR FRIENDSHIP? DON'T GET ME WRONG, I FIND GIRLS DO THIS MORE...BUT DAMN
I FEEL LIKE THE GUYS THAT I KNOW ARE TURNING INTO...STRAIGHT..BITCHES.
WHEN I TELL THEM THE TRUTH THEY GET MAD.
WHEN I TELL THEM A LIE THEY SAY I'M FOUL.
YOU CANNOT WIN WITH BITCHASSNESS.
LOL.
OH WELL...GUESS I'M GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS UNTIL A REAL MAN COMES ALONG!
which brings you guys back to an older post of mines
with the ni**a-boy-man theory.
smh.
here's some music.

why can't I find a man who lives like the songs Musiq Soulchild sings? lol.

Chocolate High feat Musiq Soulchild - India.Arie

.Welcome To Heartbreak.

I'M NOT NECCESSARILY HEART BROKEN
BUT I FEEL SOME PAIN...LOL...IT'S ONE OF THOSE PAINS WHERE YOU CAN LAUGH AND CRY AT THE SAME TIME.
LAUGH, BECAUSE YOU WERE BLINDED AND IT TOOK YOU THIS LONG TO REALIZE THAT THE PERSON YOU REALLY LIKE IS A TOTAL DISRESPECTFUL SHELL OF A "MAN". CRY, BECAUSE YOU'VE ALLOWED YOURSELF
TO BE DISRESPECTED FOR SOO LONG. I ACTUALLY QUESTIONED WHAT THE "FUCK IS WRONG WITH[ME] YOU"
AS HE DID. I GUESS I HAD ALL THE SIGNS...I JUST CHOSE TO NOT SEE THEM.
:D
ON THAT NOTE...HAD A GREAT TIME AT MY COUSINS PARTY.
LIFE IS GREAT AND I WOULDN'T HAVE HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.
I'M IN MUSIC THERAPY.
LAURYN HILL'S UNPLUGGED CD
AND SEVERAL INDIA.ARIE SONGS
I'LL BE BETTER, BUT FOR NOW...
WELCOME TO HEART BREAK.

Lauryn Hill!

I gave You all of Me....and You Gave Me nothing back but my heart broken.

I AM NO LONGER THE PERSON I WAS LAST YEAR
LAST MONTH, LAST WEEK, OR YESTERDAY.
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON
AND EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS CHANGES YOUR PERSPECTIVE OF PEOPLE.
I HONESTLY DID NOT THINK THAT THINGS WOULD HAVE ENDED THIS WAY. BUT ITS IS WHAT IT IS.

THE BIBLE SAYS.....
"cast not your pearls before the swine, neither give what is holy to dogs"

AVOID AT ALL COSTS GIVING YOUR OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE, TIME, AND ENERGY TO UNWORTHY CAUSES AND PEOPLE.
how do you know they are unworthy?
IF YOU HAVE TO FIGHT WITH THEM TO ACCEPT WHAT YOU ARE GIVING THEM AS AN ACT OF LOVE, THEY ARE NOT WORTHY.
I LEARNED THE HARD WAY =/. BUT IT DEFINITELY WAS NOT THE WRONG WAY.

If You Love Something Let It Go.........

it could all be so simple..but I'm making it hard.
as I sat and watch love jones for the tenth time.
I realize something
if you love someone...let them go...if they come back to you they were actually the one for you.
I don't believe in anyone actually being yours.
so I say that instead
actually...when I simply just learned this concept...things felt a lot different. life felt a little lighter.
I know now the only person I should be clocking is me.
and I'll remember you, because with you is my love
and I am remembering love. :)

interview # 3...[i got lazy lol]

WHAT DO U THINK OF LOVE?
Flo: I think its essential for true happiness. Everyone is entitled to it and it should be respected no matter who, what, when, where, and how.
mymindisonzen (10:58:15 PM): OK, SO WHEN DID YOU FIRST FALL IN LOVE?
mymindisonzen (10:58:17 PM): LOVE*
Flo: First would have to be when I met Meena, not right away of course, but gradually.
mymindisonzen (11:01:00 PM): SO U BELIEVE SHE IS YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE?
Flo: Yes. I really do.
mymindisonzen (11:02:51 PM): WHY DO YOU THINK THAT MOST MALES HAVE A HARD TIME EXPRESSING THEIR FEELINGS?
Flo: I think its because most males, not all, have a hard time with feelings because they somehow feel insecure, that if they do open up, they will be vulnerable. Its all about maintaining the Macho, Alpha Male mentality when, in my opinion, the stronger man is he who asks for help when in need of it and opens up.
mymindisonzen (11:08:22 PM): WISE WORDS, SO YOUR TELLING ME THAT SECRETLY MALES ARE JUST AS EMOTIONAL AS FEMALES....ITS JUST THEIR SILLY LITTLE PRIDES??
Flo: The only difference between males and females is the kind of genitalia. I wouldn't go as far as saying that they are equally emotional, or emotional about the same things, but, it does depend on how each person reacts to the stimulus in question.
mymindisonzen (11:14:28 PM): OK. SO DO YOU BELIEVE THAT LOVE CAN ALLOW TWO PEOPLE TO STAY TOGETHER FOR A LIFETIME?
Flo: Actually, I think that Love is the bonding agent required to keep two people together IF, Love is even present to begin with. Some people are together because they believe they are in Love when in reality, they are not.
mymindisonzen (11:20:23 PM): OH. IM INTERVIEWING WITH SOME WISE MALES LOL RIGHT NOW
Flo: Well, I will tell you this, it takes time to know whether you are in love or not, it doesn't happen at first sight, there has to be a meeting of the minds, not just appearance based. And, taking action on what you say is what really counts.
mymindisonzen (11:28:31 PM): SO NO LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT FOR YOU? LOL
Flo: Well, you have no real way of knowing the person within, which is what counts, if you base your relationship primarily on appearance.
mymindisonzen (11:33:02 PM): so what attracts you to a female?
Flo: Personality, firstly, and intelligence. Appearance falls after that.
Flo: Moral Values as well.
mymindisonzen (11:38:03 PM): SO YOUR NOT SUPERFICIAL?..SO YOUR TELLING ME...YOU REALLY DONT CARE HOW SHE LOOKS, JUST AS LONG AS SHE HAS A GOOD HEART AND GOOD INTENTIONS? LOL
Flo: Not completely no, I do take looks into consideration, but not as much as the majority of people, that is why I can say that I am truly happy.
mymindisonzen (11:41:28 PM): SO YOUR SAYING MEENA IS UGLY? BECAUSE YOU DIDNT TAKE HER LOOKS INTO CONSIDERATION?
mymindisonzen (11:41:29 PM): LMAO
mymindisonzen (11:41:30 PM): JK
mymindisonzen (11:41:35 PM): THATS NOT IN THE INTERVIEW
Flo: No, I don't think she's ugly, she thinks that sometimes. I think she's absolutely gorgeous.
mymindisonzen (11:42:44 PM): AWWW
mymindisonzen (11:42:45 PM): OK

*I LEFT MY AIM SCREEN NAME. TOO LAZY LOL.

Looking Back.

I FOUND THESE PICTURE'S OF MY NEPHEW.
OH I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS.
WHEN HE WASN'T SO BAD...LOL
HE IS STILL A CUTIE.
JUST MISS THE BABY DAYS :(
LOL

#5 [THE second INTERVIEW]

*JUST TRYNA CATCH UP....MORE INTERVIEWS TO COME!!*
MR. FRESH :)

ME: OK SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF LOVE?

MR.FRESH: I THINK IT'S OKAY WHEN YOUR WITH SOME ONE THAT'S WORTH BEING WITH.

ME:SO, TO YOU WHAT MAKES SOMEONE OR RATHER A FEMALE WORTH IT?

MR.FRESH:THEY HAVE TO BE SOMEONE THAT I CAN BE MYSELF AROUND AND FEEL COMFORTABLE AROUND.

ME:SO YOU FEEL A NEED TO BE FAKE AROUND CERTAIN FEMALES?

MR.FRESH:YEAH BECAUSE SOME GIRLS LOOK FOR A GUY TO ACT, ONE WAY SO MOST GUYS THINK IF THEY PUT ON A FRONT IT WILL HELP THEM GET THE GIRL.

ME:OK. AND WHAT IS THIS WAY THAT SOME GIRLS WANT SOME GUYS TO ACT LIKE?

MR.FRESH: LIKE THEY ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE, AND THEY HAVE A LOT OF MONEY.

ME:BUT HAVE YOU EVER ASKED A GIRL IF THAT'S ALL SHE WANT'S YOU TO BE LIKE? LIKE THE REST? BECAUSE IF THEY WANT THEM TO ACT LIKE THAT..WON'T ALL GUYS EVENTUALLY BE LIKE THAT? (IN MY OPINION LOL)

MR.FRESH: NAW, I'VE NEVER ASKED BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY TALK TO GIRLS THAT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO PUT ON A FRONT...I'M MY OWN PERSON.

ME:OK, SO ON YOUR STATUS YOU WROTE "IS THERE A MS. FRESH...NAW" DOES THAT MEAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THERE IS NO ONE OUT THERE FOR YOU?

MR.FRESH: NOOO THAT MEANT I'M NOT LOOKING FOR HER BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP AT THE MOMENT.

ME: OH OK, SO YOUR NOT ONE OF THOSE CYNICS WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE AND THAT THEY WILL BE ALONE FOREVER? LOL.

MR.FRESH: NO, I BELIEVE IN LOVE, I'M JUST NOT READY FOR IT AT THE MOMENT.

ME:OK, SO WHAT ATTRACTS YOU TO A LADY?

MR.FRESH: EYES, LIPS, AND THEIR SHAPE.

ME:WHAT ABOUT PERSONALITY?

MR.FRESH: THAT TOO, SMH I NEED SOMEONE I CAN LAUGH WITH. MY BAD.

ME:LOL, IT'S OK. I KNOW HOW YOU MALES ARE JK. SO NICE EYES, FULL LIPS, FULL THIGHS..THAT'S WHAT GETS YOU HIGH?

MR.FRESH: YOU CAN SAY THAT

ME:OK SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?

MR.FRESH: IT'S COOL AS LONG AS NO ONE CATCHES FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER.

ME:SO DO YOU THINK THAT TWO PEOPLE CAN HAVE A "SUCCESSFUL" FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS WITHOUT CATCHING FEELINGS..EVENTUALLY?

MR.FRESH:NO..IT ALWAYS COMES DOWN TO SOMEONE CATCHING FEELINGS FOR THE OTHER.

ME: SO HOW IS IT COOL?

MR.FRESH: CAUSE Y'ALL BOTH BENEFIT EACH OTHER IN WAYS THEIR BF OR GF COULDN'T..AND THE FRIEND WITH BENEFIT IS USUALLY A GOOD FRIEND.

ME:YOU THINK SO? I ALWAYS SAY..FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FRIENDS..FOR ONE REASON..YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO RUIN YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH A GOOD FRIEND...SO YOU ACTUALLY DO NOT PICK A GOOD FRIEND, BUT RATHER SOMEONE WHO, AT THAT MOMENT AGREES THAT THIS IS WHAT THEY WANT OR NEED IN THEIR LIFE.

MR.FRESH:TRUE...

ME: I THINK THE MISTAKE WE MAKE IS WHEN WE PROLONG FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS..AND THATS WHEN FEELINGS GROW.

MR.FRESH: THAT'S THE SAD PART.......

THE CONVO....GOT MORE PRIVATE..LOL...BUT THATS WHERE WE ENDED OFF IN THE INTERVIEW.

This Time I'm Playing it smart-Bitty McLean

WORRY= FEAR OF LOSING CONTROL.
WHEN YOU WORRY OVER SOMEBODY OR SOMETHING YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR LOSING CONTROL OVER
THAT PERSON OR THING. WHY DO YOU THINK PARENTS WORRY? CAUSE THEY HAVE NO CONTROL
OVER WHERE THERE KID IS, OR WHAT THEY ARE DOING.
WE NEED TO BE ASSURED ONLY FOR OUR EGO'S SAKE. SEE THE EGO NEEDS TO FEEL LIKE ITS REALLY
IN CONTROL. YOU CAN FIND THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE A FEAR OF COMMITMENT
WORRY...A L O T.
I AM ONE OF THOSE...WHO WORRY..BECAUSE I FEAR I AM LOSING CONTROL OF THE SITUATION.
I DON'T WORRY OVER GETTING A JOB. I KNOW GOD IS IN CONTROL OF THAT
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE. I WORRY TOO MUCH
WORRY I AM GETTING HURT
WORRIED ABOUT THAT PERSON
WONDERING WHAT THEY ARE DOING
ARE THEY OK?
THEY DIDN'T CALL TODAY.
THEY DIDN'T WRITE :(
THINGS OF THAT NATURE. IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE HAS CONTROL OVER OUR SITUATION.
HE CONTROLS WHEN AND WHAT TIME WE MEET.
HE CONTROLS THE TALKS...THE KISSES, THE HUGS. HE CONTROL'S WHETHER OR NOT
WE SHOULD JUST TAKE A BREAK. BREAK OFF WHAT IS ALREADY LOOSE.
WE BOTH SABOTAGE THOUGH.
I, BY NOT EXPRESSING MY FEELINGS.
HIM, BY RUNNING AWAY FROM HIS FEELINGS.
CAUSE WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE...YOU HAVE TO LOSE YOUR FEAR OF CONTROL.
OTHER WISE YOU AREN'T REALLY FALLING OR IN LOVE.
AND THAT'S OUR PROBLEM...OUR MEANING PEOPLE WITH THE FEAR OF COMMITMENT.
WE DON'T LIKE TO LOSE CONTROL OF OUR FEELINGS. SO AT ANY MOMENT WE SEE WE ARE
WE CUT IT OFF. HENCE THE LACK OF COMMITMENT. IT'S SECOND NATURE. ITS LIKE AN ALARM CLOCK
IN US. RINGING WHEN WE FIRST TASTE THE FIRST TASTE OF WHAT FEELS LIKE LOVE.
WE FREEZE UP....WE RUN, WE HIDE. WE DO NOT FACE IT. WE DON'T LOSE CONTROL.
I'M READY TO LOSE CONTROL :(
HE IS NOT.
THE END?
:'(
"I'M OFFICIALLY SCARED"~POETIC.JUSTICE

#7 [I THINK YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT]

SO MY FRIEND SAID MY STOMACH LOOKS LIKE I'M PREGNANT IN THAT PICTURED JUST ABOVE THIS POST.
ACCORDING TO HER...ITS "SOOOO BIG". DUMB BITCH. LOL. HER, ATLEAST MY STOMACH DOESN'T HAVE ANY STRETCH MARKS ON IT!!!!

I DECIDED I'M GONNA START RUNNING IN THE MORNING.......CLEAR MY HEAD AND PLUS ITS STARTING TO WARM

UP A LITTLE. AFTER I GET THE HANG OF THAT, I MIGHT JOIN A GYM. SHE IS RIGHT...I AM GETTING TOO FAT. I

LOVE BEING THICK...BUT NOT TOO THICK. SIGH.


SONG OF MY DAY: Hurt Again~Mary J. Blige.

#6[25 lovely FACTS]

ANYONE WHO TRUELY KNOWS ME..KNOWS I LIKE TO DO THINGS WHEN THEY ARE PLAYED OUT...OR LISTEN TO CORNY SONGS...OR WEAR PLAYED OUT SHIT..LOL....SO HERE IS MY LATE 25 FACTS ABOUT ME.LOL

1.) WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL I WAS DEATHLY AFRAID OF CLOWNS, WITH THIS BIT OF INFOMATION MY
SISTERS TAUNTED ME BY PUTTING UP A CLOWN ON THEIR BEDROOM DOOR SO THAT I WOULD NOT GO IN
(I STILL HATE YOU GUYS FOR THAT LOL.JK)
2.) I HAVE NEVER HAD A RELATIONSHIP LAST LONGER THAN A HALF A YEAR...LOL..ITS A SHAME BUT IT'S DUE
TO MY FEAR OR LACK OF COMMITMENT.
3.) I CAN ONLY USE WHITE TOOTHPASTE. I CANNOT USE THE GEL TOOTHPASTE ...I DON'T KNOW WHY ITS JUST SOMETHING ABOUT IT..LOL..(BUT MY MOTHER CONTINUES TO HURT ME BY BUYING GEL TOOTHPASTE)
4.) I HATE HAIR ON A SINK, OR ON MY SOAP...WHEN I DO SEE IT ON EITHER ITEMS I HAVE THOUGHTS OF THE HAIR IN MY MOUTH (WEIRD YES)
5.) I AM A DIE HARD OLDIES FAN..ANY TYPE R&B, REGGAE, ROCK. I JUST LOVE OLD MUSIC.
6.) I NEVER MATCH. MY SOCKS NEVER MATCH, MY BRA AND UNDERWEAR NEVER MATCH EVEN THOUGH
I DO BUY THEM AS PAIRS.LOL. ITS JUST SOMETHING I DO.
7.) I AM A LIP BALM FANATIC...I HAVE SO MANY AND CARRY AT LEAST 6 AT A TIME.LOL
8.) I AM ALWAYS THINKING OF SOMETHING..AND ALWAYS PLAYING OUT SHIT IN MY HEAD THAT SHOULD BE HAPPENING TO ME. OR AT LEAST I THINK
9.) I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW..WELL NOT MADLY. BUT I DO LOVE THEM.
10.) I HATE DRESSING LIKE A GIRL...I'M ALWAYS IN JEANS AND A BAGGY T-SHIRT OR SHIRT. THE MOST GIRLIFIED THING I WEAR ARE MY UGGS. AND THATS BECAUSE THEY ARE COMFORTABLE.
11.) I STILL LISTEN TO CAM'RON.LOL
12.) I LOVE HARDCORE GANGSTA RAP..
13.) I LISTEN TO ANYTHING BUT TECHNO. AND THATS A PROMISE.
14.) MY DREAM MAN IS THE POET NAME KESED. I WOULD DO ALMOST ANYTHING TO GO OUT WITH HIM.LOL*DROOLS*
15.) I USE TO HATE MY SKIN TONE..BUT NOW I COULD CARE LESS. I LOVE ME :D
16.) I USE TO HAVE LONG HAIR BUT I CUT IT ALL OFF..FOR WHAT REASON...I HAVE NO CLUE.
17.) I WANT TO NAME MY DAUGHTER ADELE SELAH _____<--INSERT HER FATHERS LAST NAME LOL
18.)I ONLY WANT A DAUGHTER...LOL NO BOYS FOR ME....
19.) I LOVE RANCH DRESSING I EAT IT WITH WITH ALMOST EVERYTHING.
20.) WHEN I LOVE I LOVE HARD....TALK ABOUT BE THERE FOR YOU WHEN EVER YOU NEED ME NO QUESTIONS ASK..RUB YOUR BACK..YEAH I DO ALL THAT.LOL
21.) I USE TO WRITE POETRY..I'M GOING TO START AGAIN.LOL
22.) I DID NOT GET MY NICK NAME FROM THE MOVIE POETIC JUSTICE..BUT RATHER WHAT HAPPENED SUMMER OF '07.
23.) MY MOTHER'S GRAND MOTHER WAS AMERINDIAN, AND HER AND HER SISTERS USE TO HAVE LONG HAIR. WHICH IS WHERE I THINK I GOT MINES.
24.) I AM INTO FASHION AND AM AN ASPIRING MERCHANDISER.
25.) I HAVE HAD MY NOSE PIERCED AND MY TRAGI. AND ARE RE-PIERCING THEM THIS SUMMER :D OK HOPE I DIDN'T BORE YOU GUYS. I HAVE MORE..BUT ITS COLD.LOL SO LATER

#4[the interviewl]

THIS IS GOING TO BE A PROLONGED BLOG ENTRY
I DECIDED TO INTERVIEW ALL THE MALES I KNOW.
ON LOVE.FEMALES.RELATIONSHIPS
AND WHAT THEY MEAN TO THE MALE SPECIES.
FIRST MALE.
J-KEY. :D

ME: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF LOVE??

J-KEY:YEA LOVE TO ME REALLY IS...HONESTLY NOTHING IN NEW YORK
LOVE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL THAT WE SAY WHEN WE ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR LIKE 2 MONTHS OR EVEN 2 YEARS. FOR A GUY LOVE IS THE GIRL THAT HE CAN STAY WITH FOR ALL HIS LIFE AND HATE HER THE MOST....
LOVE TO ME IS NOTHING.

ME: OKAY, AT WHAT TIME IN YOUR LIFE DID YOU FIRST FEEL LOVE?

J-KEY: I HAVE NEVER FELT LOVE.

ME: DO YOU THINK THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR YOU?

J-KEY: I THINK THAT FIND IS LIKE WINNING THE LOTTERY, SO NO I DON'T THINK SO.

ME: BUT YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE AT WINNING THE LOTTERY..SO DO YOU BELIEVE IN THAT LITTLE PERCENTAGE?

J-KEY: NO, I'M SORRY I DON'T PLAY THE LOTTERY, I HAVE A GOOD IDEA IN SOMEDAY HAVING TRUE LOVE...NOT LOOKING FOR IT.......NO I'M SORRY I DO HAVE A TRUE LOVE. LoL. I'M IN LOVE WITH A GUIDANCE COUNSELOR...HER NAME IS MUSIC.

ME:OH OK. SO YOUR IN LOVE WITH MUSIC?

J-KEY: YES, SHE IS THE GREATEST.

ME:OK, SO WHEN DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH MUSIC?

J-KEY: SHE PULLED ON ME, SHE TEMPTED ME TO MAKE LOVE TO HER WITHOUT INTERCOURSE...I ACTUALLY JUST HAD SEX WITH HER WITH JUST EMOTIONS, A PEN AND A NOTEBOOK.

ME:OOOOH. YOUR KILLING ME SOFTLY WITH YOUR WORDS.LOL

J-KEY: I DIDN'T WANT TO BE IN IT AT THE BEGINNING BECAUSE TOO MANY PEOPLE JUST WANTED THE MONEY AND NOT BE THANKFUL THAT THEY HAVE SUCH TALENT..AND I DIDN'T WANT TO BE IN THE GAME. BUT SHE KEPT CALLING ME CLOSER AND I GOT BETTER AT MAKING LOVE TO HER UNTIL SHE SHOWED ME THAT I CAN REALLY CAN MAKE MYSELF FEEL GOOD AGAIN AND MAKE A GROUP OF PEOPLE HAPPY ALL AT ONE TIME.LOL

ME:SO MUSIC IS YOUR LOVER FOR YOUR LIFETIME?

J-KEY: YES AND I WOULDN'T HAVE IT NO OTHER WAY MAN

ME: OK THANKS J-KEY :D

#3[ni**a-boy-man theory]

I hope nobody takes offense to me using the N word. I was just trying to point out that a nigga is as low as it gets :).

NIGGA-BOY-MAN THEORY
NIGGA: This is the male who does not give a fuck about anyone but himself. In fact the only other things they care about is getting pussy, money, or weed just as lil wayne said. this male will hurt almost everyone in his life for all three. he doesn't know he has a problem in fact he thinks society is the problem. he blames everyone and everything for his problems. his main goal with a woman is not her heart but her pussy therefore he is a asshole, money is more important than love. and he would rather smoke weed than get a job. if in fact a nigga falls in love he will deny it without any good reason. he will treat the lady like shit even though he knows that she may very well be the best thing in his life.

BOY: a boy is like a nigga,but he feels a little more,a boy makes a lot of mistakes, and thus saying the difference between a nigga and a boy is that after everyone is gone and the boy loses everything he will only feel it then. a boy has the potential of being a man if he can own up to his own mistakes and learn to put a little love in his heart. the boy may or may not have a main chick but he is still looking for pussy. his money is still more important than his girl and weed is just a leisurely thing..guys you don't want to be a boy or a nigga. but if you have to at least be a boy.he knows he has a problem but he doesn't know HOW to fix it.

MAN: Don't get me wrong ladies and gentlemen..a man is not perfect. He will make mistakes cause he is human but he WILL own up to his mistakes and that will make you respect him,he still loves pussy money and possibly weed. but he feels there is a human being with the pussy and legitimate way to get money. he knows he HAD a problem and has own up to it. he no longer blames everyone and everything for his problems. This is the type of guy that ladies should fall for....one that can own up to his mistakes.

#2 [The [re]-Evolution]

I believe in evolution of self.

I believe that when we find something that is not working in our lives...we either stay in the same position

or EVOLVE.....

Over the years I have evolved about two times.....it was mostly mental..but some physical...cutting off my hair

cutting some friends off.....and re-evaluating some old habits...I have become who I am today. Which btw is

not working anymore....so it's time to go back in the lab and remix....this life of mines.



P.S
my blogs WILL get interesting..lol...

#1.[In The Beginning]

Myspace was cool.....4 years ago.

Facebook was alright....If you actually cared what your friends were doing every minute.

Twitter.......something I have yet to understand.

so I'm here...becoming like one of the others...chasing the cool.......and in doing so feeding my ego into believing

that there are people out there who actually care about what I have to say. *sigh*


ok. I invite one and all...to follow me..........:)