I have the worse sleeping habits.
No matter how hard I try I can’t sleep a full 8 hours at night.
I can in the afternoon though…
I try but I constantly find myself waking up at 4am and contemplating my life.
I can see it in their eyes, see how they look, they think I’m a failure…don’t you hate
that you think the most at night….A restless mind gets no sleep, and my mind is
never resting..always thinking about the what if’s and the what now’s…..Yet I keep
on a pasted and fake smile because truthfully I think everyone is tired of hearing
me complain. So I listen…and keep my thoughts to myself…finding myself talking
to my self at 4 in the morning…beating my self up. They say the grass is always
greener on the other side….I think so….Cause I look at everyone else and feel
they are doing so much better than I. Even people who are in the same “boat” as
I…do so much better than me. I look at it this way …..You’re either moving or
standing still. When you stand still life moves all around you…you’re just there..
no progression…just the same old same old, but if you’re moving even if its just
little steps..its better than nothing, cause even with small steps you’re going some
where. I have went from running, to walking, to a slow pace, to just a stand still.
Looking at everyone move. And I am standing still. Awake, Aware, Alert. &
Standing still…..All that stops right here.
2 comments:
drug yourself up till you pass out!
omg to the comment above , hahaha .no no don't do that . well if you want but i don't lean on that side . i use to sleep horribly, well i still do. i read until i get sleepy enough and fall asleep with the lights on, wake up two hours later and turn the lights off. put music on and try to sing myself to sleep "/ i don't know how to make my mind stop wandering and wondering either. i tottally see where your coming on this entry and don't stop blogging! it can help you, once you look back and read over all your old entries. by the way thank you for the advice for my face. do you eat healthy? and how much water do you drink? lol . .
Post a Comment